Dressage had always been an intimidating event for me, whether as a pony or as a trainer. The letters and circles and long white lines have always seemed totally foreign, like some weird crop-circle or some odd message penned by alien hands. Miss Bern is fond of Dressage. I will be learning Dressage.
After a bit of practice, I now know that my first impression was correct: its hard. Its even harder when you can’t see the lines or circels on the ground. My Trainer is being very patient with me. At times, I don’t feel that I deserve such patience, but it seems that she has a never-ending supply of it. We worked and worked at walking the lines, and I made many mistakes, especially with walking in circles. I am so glad that Miss Bern is able to help me through this, otherwise I would never be able to handle the event.
I try very hard. I know that my Trainer wants to be proud of me, so I must work very hard to earn that. I want so much for her to have a pony she can be proud of. I do my best for Miss Bern.

I was a bit stressed by news this morning, So Miss Bern decided a day of freedom would be nice. It felt kind of strange interacting with old and dear friends and actually being able to see them. It was also a peculiar feeling to be out of my tack, to have my hands free, to not hear the clop-clop-clopping of hooves when I walked. Dancing at The Dive was fabulous, mostly because it was with people I love: The old gang. I wish Dee could have been with us. She would have liked dancing too. It is also too bad that Miss Bern wasn’t around. I would have enjoyed a dance with her, too.

We did more adjustments to my outfit and tack today. It is time consuming, but I like her gentleness when she is helping with all of the belts and straps and buckles. Eventually, I will look exactly as my owner wants me to look. I think it just takes a little time for us to find just the right tack and gear.
I forgot to mention something from earlier this week. Miss Bern and I played a game of “Blind Girl’s Bluff.” Of course, I wasn’t very good at it, but it was a lot of fun trying to find her. She told me that she liked watching me search too. All in all it was a lot of fun. It’s great to have a bit of fun to break up the work of training.

Another round of shopping has ended in a stronger blindfold, a new inflatable gag, and a full black, latex bodysuit complete with mittens for my hands. I was informed that it would be both: 1 - my outfit to wear at home, and 2 - part of my “show pony” tack. Feeling the form-fitting latex against my skin all the time makes me feel even more restrained.
My arms are also now bound behind my back in a sort of “reverse prayer,” which improves my posture considerably. Miss Yuko and Miss Dee stopped by and seemed to think my new outfit was working out rather well. It makes me proud to know that I am looking good, and it makes me happy to know that I am a good reflection on my owner.

She took me out shopping with her today. I was so proud for people to see me with my owner, and I tried to make sure that I walked with my knees high and my back straight, so as not to disappoint or embarass her.
Speaking of posture, that is exactly what Miss Bern had in mind when she took me out shopping; she purchased a neck corset for me. I could once shake and nod my head for communication, but no longer. Now, it is only the stamps of my hooves, along with muffled whinnies and snorts which allow me to communicate with the outside world. Thoughts I have that are complex and intricate will remain mine and mine alone. All I have are these pages -pages that few but her will ever see. They are my freedom. Through them, I can express my thoughts and feelings. I can only hope that she will continue to give me the time to write them down. I think that she will. They are her window into my thoughts, my dreams, myhopes and my fears.

She returned to me. I had been so worried that something bad had happened to her, but my fears were groundless. We had a nice reuinion. I don’t know how many times I whinnied my happiness.
On her return I was attached with new bells for my nipples, chains that attached to the bells as a kind of leash, and binders for my arms so that I would be even more restricted in my movement. Before, I couldn’t use my hands, but I could at least manipulate things with my hooves. Now, however, I cannot even use my hooves. I come to rely upon my trainer more and more every day. I do not worry, though. I know that she will take good care of her girl.

She was gone for longer than expected. So many long hours of waiting, just waiting. Three days… with only a few friendly visitors. Wait, worry, and wait some more. What else is there to do?

A very special day was yesterday. My owner was very kind to me and paid me some extra attention; her gentle ministrations in my stall showed me how much she cares about me. Her kindness did not end there, either. She led me to the beach, where I was fortunate enough to receive a bath in the warm, tropical waters which seemed almost cool as they washed over my flushed and overheated skin. After my bath, I knelt by my owner as she relaxed, stretched out on the sands to take in the sunshine. I was content in knowing that she was enjoying herself, that she was able to find a time and a place for a little relaxation. It is well-deserved. She works so hard to train me, and goes through so much extra effort to ensure that I am well. At times, I wish I could speak, because, if I could, I would be able to tell her how much I appreciate everything she has given me.
As good as yesterday was, it is balanced out by today. Miss Bern was forced to leave me to my own devices today. I know that she will be worried sick about me, and I just hope that she does not fret too much. I am safe in my stall. My cloth gag, I can soak in water so that I can drink. My greatest worry is that my owner will be too distracted by her concern for me.

Today, Miss Bern worked with my collar. More and more of the outside world becomes closed to me, and I become more and more dependent upon my Trainer for all of my needs. I can no longer know the names of the people who speak to me. In my chat, they show up only as: A Resident, A Person, Some People, and the like. I can no longer see what region of the world I am in… to me, the name of my location is always: “Hidden.” No more Local Chat, no more Emotes, no more Flying, Editing my AV, and no more maps. I am cut off from the world. Miss Bern is my lifeline.
I had a bit of stress at the stables this morning, but Miss Bern assures me she will take care of everything and that I do not have to worry. I will put my trust in her to keep me safe and out of harm’s way.

Last night, a puppygirl friend came by to visit me before I went to sleep. It was nice to have a little bit of company in my stall, and she is always so nice and friendly. We even managed to get a picure of us together! She is a sweetheart…. and such a cutie.
After a nice restful sleep, Miss Bern came by to give me a good workout. We had to delay our training for a short time, because a trainer by the name of Rogan was visiting the Ranch. I was left alone for a while, but eventually had the pleasure of meeting Rogan. He seemed nice, but a bit on the quiet side.
The training today was really difficult, but quite rewarding. We started with the Barrel Race (running a course of three barrels - circling each one and then going back to the finish line), which was quite difficult with a full blindfold on. I had to rely on listening to the voice of my trainer and circling around her at each barrel position. I think she hopes that I will be able to memorize the locations of each barrel and be able to circle around them. I hope I do not disappoint her.
If I thought the barrels were hard to do, the Steeples proved to be even more so. Steeples (often called Show Jumping) are a race course in which ponies must go around a course while leaping over obstacles like fences. It is a challenging and competative sport in the pony world, and also quite a lot of fun; however, running the Steeples blind was a completely new experience for me.
I have learned that everything must center around my Trainer. It is about teamwork now, this event, and not about individual progress. My Trainer and I are a team. We must work together for me to be successful. Here is how the Steeple goes for us:
We begin at the starting line, and Miss Bern circles the first obstacle. I wait for her to get into position, and then she calls for me to make the first jump. I go forward a step or two and then leap into the air, trusting in my Trainer’s judgement as to the location of the jump. When all goes well, I land on the ohter side, and then wait for Miss Bern’s next command, which is always for me to come to her. I follow her voice to a spot just in front of the second jump and wait there while she gets herself into position on the other side of the second obstacle. When she calls me, I leap in the direction of her voice, over the second jump. This, we continue until we cross the finish line.
Miss Bern thinks I did well this first day, which makes me very happy.